Pantie Flasher

Do you remember when you were in Kindergarten? There was always that one little girl that flashed her underwear to anyone that would look? Well my little Heather is in Kindergarten, and I am sad to say that I think she is a pantie flasher. As we are walking up to her class room today, she says, " Hey there is Kyle, Hey Kyle, I wore my pink panties today look!" It was like I was moving in slow motion, I reached down to takes her hands away from her dress, and as I yelled NOOOOO, time seemed to stand still, all that was right in the world did not exist anymore, she slowly pulled her little dress up, and with a sadistic little small she said " See I told you Kyle"

Kyle got embarrassed and hid behind his Mother, who had no idea what was going on since she had been on her cell phone the entire time.


I wished I could have hid behind my Mother.

Booty pinching and Tennis shoes

So I went shopping with Crystal today, affectionately also known as C-Dawg. I swear that girl is the bargain queen. She could have 5 bucks and some how find shoes, pants, and the cure for the common cold:) We went to Foot Locker ( My home away from home) and we found these Tennis shoes, two for 89 dollars, soooo.. we both have matching shoes now, I am sure the lady helping us thought we were a lesbian love couple, ( we did sleep together our senior year) I made sure to mention my hubby, I have an aversion to people thinking I am gay, I don't know what is worse, being thought of as a gay WOMAN, or being called SIR... ( sorry that is still bugging me) Anywho, we both have the same pair or addias tennies, I think that is funny, it probably isn't though..... I saw Rebecca Felix's twin at Target, I thought for sure it was her, I even left my comfortable seat at the food court to follow her ( Not in a stalking sort of way) but to say hi, I almost called out " Hey Rebecca" just to be funny, because to me she is BECKY!!!! But at the last minute she turned around and it wasn't her, What if I had pinched her booty or something to be funny... ( I am shuddering at the thought)

Puke and the Mister

Well my little boy has been puking on and off for three days now, just when I think he is getting better, a massive eruption comes from his tiny little body leaving no survivors. So today I realized I was out of cleaning stuff and needed it badly, so I broke the sabbath and headed to target for some sort of bleach that would kill all of the little flu germs floating around the Eglet abode. As I was checking out, the teen age girl behind the counter said to me, " How are you today SIR!!!" SIR! I thought, OK so I don't look my best, my hair was in a pony tail and my face clear of any kind of make up, but SIR! Did she not see the enormous mounds of flesh that I have been carrying on the front of me, since the eight grade? The boobs that could easily feed a family of eight if they had too? I gave her a slight smile that was meant to say ... UH? And she turned red, Instantly I thought of her later telling her friends... " Ya and I looked up and it was totally a lady!