Blogging loser

A lot has happened since I last blogged, Chris got a new job ( YEAH!!!!) We are able to pay our bills and I don't feel like I am having a heart attack every time the mail comes:) He is gone a lot and we don't see him much, that really stinks, but we are grateful for the job and will just grin and bare it:) 

Christmas was great ( I am glad it is over) and the kids are all doing really well. 

Hopefully it won't be another 4 months before I blog again!

Damn Lady

Grrr.... Yup I said Grrr... I am irritated to say the least! I took Nick and Heather to the Dentist this morning, they have been going to this Dentist since before I was in the picture. I have actually never taken them before, Chris always does, but today I had to... Anyway, Chris has had a payment arrangement with them for FOREVER... HE told me how nice they were and how they will work with you. ( Sigh)

SO I am checking out and the lady said, Do you want to make a payment, I said yes ( Chris has been paying them monthly) She asks if I will pay in full.. Ummm , No I say, I can make a payment ( Duh you just asked me if I can make a payment) How much can you pay? She asks, 30 dollars I say.. You can't pay half? Is her response..... No I say, We lost our benefits, I can pay 30 dollars.... I say with a stressed grin on my face. How about a third? She says.... I say to her, MY husband lost his job, we lost our benefits, all I can pay is 30 dollars......

Do you realize that it will take you 8 months to pay this off? Is what she said to me...

"Good thing you work in a dentists office, because I am going to reach across this desk and pull your front teeth out!" Is what I was thinking, But I said, Yes I realize that, but I am doing the best I can. Finally another lady stepped from around the corner and said " Oh ya, I have this all worked out with Chris"

I realize a lot of people have lost jobs= benefits.. and Doctors have to get paid, but at least we are trying! My neurologist saw me for free two weeks a go because we lost our insurance. I was so shocked and humbled:) Sigh, such is life lately.. I am trying really hard to have faith and endure.. But it is HARD! and I am sick of it... there I said it, judge me all you want.. I am sick of it!!!!

Now that, that is off of my chest I am going to go pray that a very rich benefactor comes into our life and makes this all go away, or at least half of it:) ( The last few sentences were sarcasm.. sorta) :)

School

Well another year of school has started, I can't believe how big Nick and Heather have gotten. I am so glad that they like school. Nick and a friend both "like" the same girl.... I tell ya, being a mother to a little boy has opened my eyes to so many things. Boys are just as dramatic as girls I think.

He played bocugone ( Sp) the other day with the little girl, so I guess they are an item:)

Heather is my little fashonista (sp again) she puts together the cutest funkiest outfits..... She must get that from her Dad, HA HA...

Maddy and Ben were lost the first few days without Nick and Heather, But they seem to be adjusting now. I think it is sweet how much they all love each other. Maddy is talking more and more and learning so much, Ben can say "Love you" now. Ben now weighs more than Maddy, exactly one pound more:)

Life is slowly but surely getting back to normal, Sudden death of a loved one sure knocks you on your Keester. I miss my brother and see so much of him in Maddy. It is still so strange to think that he is gone, and the way that he left still bothers me, my Grandma says it doesn't matter how we leave, we all have to die... I wish I could think that way.

Anywho, my babies are sleeping so I think I will enjoy a hopefully nice long nap:)

Evidence and Thank You

The evidence is all in, pray that if this man deserves punishment that it comes swiftly.....


The officer that was on the scene told me that there was no way that this man could have not known that he ran over a person. If that is the case I hope they can prove it.


Thanks to everyone who has been so helpful and kind.... Especially to Crystal who baby sat me while I made arrangements for Christopher.... Your a great friend and I know you hate the mushy crap.. but I love ya!

Thanks Beck for listening to me:) I love you too:)

Wonder

As I write this, sitting next to me is a picture of my youngest brother Christopher. A week a go today was his last day on earth.  I keep waiting for these feelings of numbness people keep telling me about. I would love to be numb. Instead I feel this over whelming sadness that I can't describe. 

I wonder if it will ever go away......

I wonder if my Mom will ever be the same.

I wonder if I will ever get his service planned.

I wonder if it will be a good service, one he would like.

I wonder if he knew how much I really did love him.

I wonder if he ever knew how much he was loved.

I wonder if he is happy.

I wonder if I will ever stop wondering......

I love you Christopher

Christopher John Lyons November 16, 1987 - July 5, 2009 Christopher John Lyons was born November 16, 1987 to Rand D. Lyons and Cathy Lyons in Englewood, Colorado, and was killed tragically in the early morning hours of July 5, 2009 in Tescott, Kansas. He is survived by his mother, Cathy Lyons of Grand Junction; father, Rand Lyons of Denver; sister, Amy Eglet (Chris) and her children, Nicholas, Benjamin and Heather; brothers, Thomas Trucks, Mickel Lyons, and Joshua Roden; grandparents, Bud and Opal Roden; a beautiful fiance, Christin Walters, and daughters, Madysen and Brooklyn all of Grand Junction. Christopher was a great guy who saw the good in everyone. He was a great father, son, brother, grandson and uncle. His death is devastating to all who knew and loved him, but we know that through our Heavenly Father's plan, we will see him again. Services will be held at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 2881 E. Orchard Ave., on July 18 at 12:00 p.m.
Published in The Daily Sentinel on

Hard life and blessings

Well life has been a tad rough as of late... Chris lost his job in April.. He has a new job.... it doesn't pay anywhere near what he was making, no benefits, but we are grateful for the work.....


We had savings but it is slowly dwindling away... and pretty soon it will be gone.... how will we pay our bills?

This is all I have been thinking about as of late.... I have been down in the dumps to say the least, so now I have decided to make a list of all of our blessings maybe that will help

1. Each other, I waited what felt like an eternity to find Chris, I love him and am very grateful for him

2. My children, each one of them is a blessing and I also love them very much.

3. Gospel, I can't imagine going through this without knowing that we have a loving Father in Heaven...

4. Friends and family that listen to me (thanks Beck)

5. Sense of humor it comes in quite handy in situations like these

6. He does have a job, so many don't right now

7. Kindness of others

I know it won't always be this way, we will get through this.... I hope :)